HOW WE BEAT THE RUSSIANS, FRENCH, GERMANS, U.N., THE ARAB STREET, THE MOVIE STARS, THE PLO, THE IVY LEAGUE, AND BERKELEY IN TWENTY SEVEN DAYS

Can't Make a Movie out of This Because all the Big Stars are Vacationing in Damascus

WHY NO DEAL BEFORE THE WAR? The Oil for Food corruption made it impossible for Saddam to make a deal. Neither the UN or the EU thugs could afford to let go of their golden goose, to let the world find out what pigs they are. So they did what the suits always do. They "supported" Saddam with everything except their troops, their blood, and their open commitment. All Saddam had going for him in the end was useless Hollywood movie stars, phoney "human shields", rock stars, ads in the New York Times, "puke ins", and the world's slimy Left Wing intellectuals.

Leftist media ground out stories of Viet Nam, Quagmire, and Arab volunteer armies massing to defend Iraq while the New Imperialists with the UN continued their plunder of Iraq. Nobody could stop the robbery. They loved what were doing. They fairly ejaculated over the money. Finally one of them had to give Saddam some tangible support. It went to the Russians, an old time Imperialist in the region with a reputation for cruelty every bit as awful as Saddam's. They hit it off right away.

The Russian plans to defend Baghdad and defeat the USA were carbon copies of their historic defenses of Moscow against Napoleon in 1812 and then Hitler in 1941. Stalingrad didn't figure into the plan because at Stalingrad the Russians massed an army of a million men plus air power to defeat the Germans. The Russians were bigger and better at Stalingrad. Weather was only a factor. Iraq needed to win with weather.

MOSCOW 1812: Napoleon's legions, their supply lines stretched beyond limit, marched on Moscow planning to eat the Russian food and live in the Russian houses. The Russians burn the city to the ground. Napoleon's troops are left with no food and no shelter. Freezing, they retreat across the frozen steppes and one half of Napoleon's army freezes to death. The legend that every Russian schoolboy learns is that nobody can beat the Russian Winter.

MOSCOW 1941: The huge German army bore down on Moscow much as the French had done more than a century before. The Russians lost 3/4 of a million people in the battle but the Russian Winter once again triumphed. The Germans were left freezing on the steppes, their guns frozen so they couldn't fire, their tanks slipping on the ice and out maneuvered by the wide tracked Russian tanks. The disaster was total. Once again the "Russian Winter" had won. Every schoolboy learns this battle too.

Germany and France decided to work at the UN, secretly supported by Kofi Anan who as Schlockmeister General was stealing even more than the "Axis of Weasels". It was France that carried the water at the UN with the help of good old Kofi. The Germans just nodded.

While this was happening, Russian Generals tried to duplicate the two Battles for Moscow in the desert of Iraq. Instead of snow the Americans would face searing desert heat; their troops would be thirsty, unbearably hot inside of their tanks, and unable to move without huge quantities of fuel. The Russian plan was to allow the Americans to drive up to Baghdad where they would face overwhelming firepower (the stuff we have unearthed all over the country). The Americans would be fighting in the 110 degree heat, their supply lines stretched 500 miles across desert (can't you just see a New York Times Best Seller and two Hollycrap movies starring the usual suspects). These supply lines would be attacked by Iraqi troops (led by Martin Sheen and Sean Penn). The MIGs they had concealed from Hans Blix would enter the fray "from out of nowhere" and destroy the American supply lines before carrier based aircraft could stop them. Iraqi troops would then "clean up" the Supply lines and isolate the American Army around Baghdad. Instead of burning Baghdad to the ground the Iraqis would poison both the Tigress and Euphrates Rivers rendering the water undrinkable (something the Iraqis decided not to do).

So the French and Germans led the charge at the UN with Russia in a supporting role there working in concert to delay the American assault as long as possible, hoping for a killer summer, sandstorms, and panicked troops along the supply lines faced with poisoned water and attacking Fedayeen. They further convinced themselves that the American troops had been "Holywoodized": "pretty boys" with no heart, soft and flabby, ready to quit at the first sign of real casualties. Arab "manhood" would triumph.

Great thinking.

We beat the best minds in Russia, the most duplicitous minds in France, the pathetically weak minds of Germany, the UN kleptocracy, and the stupid dictator who hired these guys. As we begin to see the depth of the corruption in the Oil for Food program we will see that The European powers had no choice but to "help" Saddam or be revealed as the horrible sponsors of starvation they really are. Their only way out was to get America to lose. But they weren't frightened enough to stand up and shed their blood. Their contaminated rules of conduct are now visible for all to see. They've been Imperialists looters of weak countries for six hundred years. Now everyone knows they still are.

Glad we could help.