PAT TILLMAN: THE BEST PART OF ALL OF US

Why do I feel such rage at Pat Tillmans' death?

I just hit all the so-called Left sites and not a word about him. Just the same hate toward Bush and conservatives. I feel so angry at some of my fellow citizens at this time. I know that many of them are laughing and cheering. That they are glad some phony like Tillman got what he deserved and can only wish it happened to Bush. That's part of why I'm angry.

I feel like I lost a part of me. A part of the good part of me and there's not that much that's as good as Pat Tillman in there. I just know now I have to do as much as I can to win this thing. Whatever I can do, I'm going to do. I suppose my writing will change. For the better.

Many times I wonder about the courage of John McCain and the other guys who were prisoners in Vietnam while Jane Fonda strutted her hatred of them. I wonder at the courage of others in Iraq and Afghanistan while people march in the streets of San Francisco and mock them. I think of the guys and try to imagine if I had their guts. I don't think I had Tilman's courage and convictions. And I don't like myself too much because of it. He was ten times the man I am. All those guys over there are ten times the man.

So maybe it's me I'm angry at. They should have killed me instead of him. I just have this ache in my stomach. I don't think it's going away any time soon. I think there's at least 135,000 Pat Tilman's over there, the best we have. God, I feel awful.

God dam it! Why him? Maybe it's to wake up phonies like me and get us to focus on the job. At any rate that is how I'm going to use it.

THANKS PAT.