Humor: News from unusual suspects

Outrage at new torture allegations Prisoners force fed Twinkies, Big Macs, and French wines; denied Café latté; MPs "tee peeed" Holy sites (threw rolls of toilet paper over trees at burial site of Salaam el Dareem Krareoke Khomen-Farek the inventor of the automatic wife beating machine); former prisoners tell New York Times of being forced to masturbate while looking at pictures of Nancy Pelosi; DNC has copies of orders Rumsfeld signed allowing MPs to call prisoners "assholes" (a violation of the Cancun Convention hosted in 1999 by the French and Germans). French demand War Crimes trials; Outraged Congress to form three committees to investigate..........Three reserve guards convicted of filling condoms with a clear liquid (a violation of the "Condom Use order (13377668654B) and then "water bombing" helpless criminals inside of prison.........Developing