Saturday Help Wanted

CREATIVE TALENT WANTED

Air America seeking LIBERAL RADIO COMEDY WRITERS. Must be able to switch all dumb blonde jokes to stupid American jokes, switch all racist jokes to Republican or American soldier jokes; Example switch from anti Black joke:

What do you call an American Soldier with a wooden leg? A: Shit on a stick.";
"Why do more Republicans get hit by cars in the winter? A: They are easier to spot."

These two jokes got us more email praise than our Saddam Hussein Legal Defense Fund show. In order to broaden our base we need more pro-Muslim material like this one that got our show blockbuster ratings in Dearborn Michigan:

"How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.

This also got us a donation from an Arab charity. You need to be able to write snappy satirical songs comparing cowardly American soldiers to brave French soldiers and German Gestapo heroes; this sample rap lyric got a standing ovation at Berkeley

None of ouer soljers is brave like da French
They don't have the qualities, just sit on the bench
The French be brave cuz dey growed up in France
Our soljers is just white boys with small dicks in dere pants.

; composers must be able re-arrange all the old Nazi marches to bouncy happy polkas and waltzes (The Horst Wessel Polka, The Dead Jew Boogie etc.), you must be able to write hilarious comedy bits about teachers being raped by Republicans, urproarious routines about home invasions, street gang murders, and violence against animals, comedy sketches about abortion, Global Warming killing millions, and other issue orented laughs and chuckles. Anti-Semitic college students will be given preference; anti-white African Americans will be guranteed employment equal to their representation in the population; women will be over represented; support for genocidal Middle Eastern dictators will not be reasons for exclusion (torture chamber jokes, so long as they are not hateful, will help spread understanding and diversity; the "What do you tell a Jewish bitch with one black eye?" joke is still a torture chamber classic and got big yuks at the Move On dot Org rally for Islamic Jihad). Pay is negotiable depending on oil prices coming down.