A short Thanksgiving screenplay
FADE IN. EXT WOODS. MORNING
MASTER SHOT
Two LARGE TURKEYS armed with huge hunting rifles and a tape recorder enter CAMERA RIGHT.
TRACKING SHOT as they sneak through the brush to their spot, eyes focused on a target we can't see. They whisper their dialogue.
TURKEY ONE: Shhh....for Christ sakes.
TURKEY TWO: OK, OK, where do you wanna set up?
TURKEY ONE: Right here where we can see where they live.
They have their weapons ready to fire while Turkey 2 takes a tape recorder off his other shoulder and lays it on the ground.
TURKEY TWO: I can't wait to play this new call. Cost me thirty bucks.
TURKEY ONE: Me neither.... I can't wait to nail one of these bastards.
Turkey One now carefully parts the brush in front of him
ANOTHER ANGLE. OVER THE TURKEYS SHOULDERS REVEALING
A house in the edge of a clearing. No smoke is coming from the chimney. Everything is quiet.
TURKEY ONE: Play the call
Turkey Two presses the start button on the recorder. We hear....
WOMAN'S SEXY VOICE: Oh God, oh God. I want it so bad, baby. I want it so bad. Please please give it to me.....
The door to the house opens and a MAN with an erection comes out. He looks around.
TURKEY TWO: Worked like a charm
MAN A: (voice in distance) Freddy, Freddy. Get your ass out here, sounds hot hot hot
MAN B comes out of the house very fast. He has no erection, yet.
TURKEY ONE: Shit, look at the prong on the first one. Look great on my mantle. Play something for the second one. Let's see what he's got.
Turkey Two presses another button.
WOMAN'S SEXY VOICE: Give it to me, give it to me. I wanna suck you, suck you, suck, suck, suck......
TURKEY TWO: That did it. Look at that prong. Jesus must be eight inches....
Both Turkeys now have their guns and are pointing. They open fire like maniacs. The MEN panic and curse at them before falling back up, their erections pointing to the sky.
TURKEY TWO: Want to take 'em to my house?
TURKEY ONE: No, no. My house, my house. My wife makes a great stuffing.......
