Satire
NFL All Pro, Jamal Lewis released from Prison will rejoin Ravens....Florida Correctional Institue faces dismal season. With the loss of All Pro Jamal Lewis, FCI faces a season without a single NFL player on their roster. “We were looking forward to being serious contenders for the Federal Prison Championship. Now I just don’t know,” said Associate Warden Snoop Puppy Dog. “Had he wanted to he could have stayed here and played. All he had to do was smash somebody’s teeth down his throat or go after somebody with a knife, but he chose the easy way out and he was released. He’s no man, if you ask me.”

His team mates are bitter to the point of taking revenge. “All that piece of shit thinks about is hisself,” said Ahmad (The Decapitator) Armstrong as he was returned to his prison cell handcuffed and shackled. “He raped us of our dignity just to make the white man happy,” he raged.

Charges of Good Behavior, refusal to take drugs, and having an “attitude” continue to circulate among his former cell mates, some whom who vow to “sodomize his wife in front of his kids,” and other acts of revenge upon Lewis’s family when they get out. The most serious charge made against the “white loving piece of shit” include his refusal to send a note to “Mad Dog” Longbaugh when he was sent to solitary confinement for killing a guard. “Longbaugh needed a support system and that bitch Lewis wouldn’t do shit for him. We will remember,” said convicted child slayer Wyatt Earp.

Lewis said he’ll be at training camp soon.