7/02/2005

From a Military blog you might want to visit.

Today I went to your grave Mike, and sat there and talked to you about everything. I cried alot too. I cursed God. I asked him why he took you from me, from the world you loved and the world that loved you. I sobbed, and wanted nothing more, than to have you walk up to me, with that impish smile of yours, your twinkling eyes, and say "dont cry chickie", and hold me. My world would be ok then. I told you how sorry I was, that you never got the chance to be a daddy,and that if i could go back in time, I would do things different. I would be there with you, I would have been able to stop you from dying. Do you forgive me for leaving? Will you still love me when I die? I will spend the rest of my life wondering if you knew just how much I loved you, because you are the only one that ever loved me like you did, I KNEW I was the only one in your heart, and I am so sorry I let you down. I wonder if you know when I am there crying, do you know I come every holiday? Do you see me when I come there on weekends? Do you know how loveless my life has been since you? No one ever has, and no one ever will love me the way you did. And all I could sit there and do today, was sob and tell you how sorry I was. I talked to you on easter, and told you that I just want to feel loved again the way you made me feel before. And then shortly after, I did meet someone. Someone a little like you, and I wondered if this was someone you sent to me. He comes very close to making me feel the way you did, very close, but, its a very bittersweet love. And my heart is getting so wrapped up in him, but its not reciprocated to the same extent. i love him the way you loved me, and now I am the one thats going to get hurt. Karma kicking my butt? Maybe. But I deserve it, for not staying with you, for not standing up to everyone and telling them how in love we were. For not being there that night to roll you over and save you... And I will never forgive myself, until you tell me to, and tell me your not upset with me. I need to hear that more than anything. My heart might have well been buried with you. I wished so many times I was lying there beside you. To be with you in the spirit world. I cant wish that now, because of my daughter. I will always love you in my heart and cherish our memories.

Stuff like this is too simple for the MSM. Oh yeah, read this poem. And should you think you're a hard hearted mother fucker who could give a shit about anything, even you will find you have a heart.