THE TIGHT CLAM GAZETTE

DESIGNER VAGINAS are the "new thing" Us guys have viagra, but those old broads with vaginas you can park your car in are "tightening it up" so they can lure unsuspecting horny guys into their lairs with tight pussy sex. Face lifts are still number one with women trying to look younger but face it, when a guy sticks his dick into the Bat Cave instead of a hot and slippery canary nest, the relationship is in serious danger. So all these former babes who have slept with nothing smaller than a 747 for thirty years are going for the gusto.

"What? You think I might be nearly fifty and not a 31 year old who has only had sex with her three of her four husbands? Wait til you take a test flight on this one, honey." This conversation takes place only after she has run a D&B on you and verified your credit worthiness and FICA score.

Link is here to the only news org in Los Angeles that actually reports the news.

The same radio station reported, but hasn't posted, that high level officials were warned two days prior to the local prison riots that they were going to take place. Not only that, but they also were told about the second and third. The "fights" are between two of the most violent gangs in LA and in ACLUville they are not segregated out of the population. I hate to tell you all this, but I spent a short time in the LA Jail system many eons ago. The reality of that "life" is this: within twenty minutes of being tossed into the general population it became clear that I was far and away the smartest guy in there. Using law that I learned from TV shows I began advising prisoners of their rights and told them what to do. Within hours I actually had a line in front of me waiting to talk. So I had a "social network" and whenever a gang killing or stabbing was going to take place both blacks and Mexicans warned me and told me where to hide. The inmates always know in advance when these things will happen. The are all planned in advance.