When you come right down to it all movies are a waste of time. But then so is football, art, music, and especially television. It’s because these misuses of precious moments eventually drive us crazy that pimps and whores came into being. I mean we all have to fuck something eventually in order to feel alive. Very few men can ejaculate in an art gallery upon viewing some painting or other; even fewer women have orgasms while watching TV. Which is prologue to my latest venture into the world of art, an activity that is supposed to replace fucking, stealing, unhappy marriages, and the quest for power for an hour or so. I saw (pause, pass gas, hold breath) The Devil Wears Prada, a movie that can best be described as a gorgeous waste of time about people wasting time working for a waste of time. Given that theme it quite naturally follows that it has been nominated as this year’s great art by the ?>?>?>Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Prada, I hasten to say, is not Left Wing---unless showing a form of capitalism at its least useful is Left Wing. Nor is it Right Wing---unless showing people we usually associate as liberals as foppish men, and mannish women. This is a boring one dimensional surf ride atop the world of fashion and the fashion publication business that is made even more boring by the absence of near naked gorgeous models, desirable men, or car chases. The male “love interest” is a man (?) too weak to endure on the screen for more than thirty seconds at a time; the female of “interest” is a crooked eyed young lady named Anne Hathaway, attractive because everyone in the movie says so; the protagonist is a well dressed Meryl Streep, pretending to be a vicious publisher with no life outside of business---no knock on her acting but I kept thinking she was imitating Glenn Close as Cruella DeVille in 101 Dalmations (above Left). Stir this together and you get…… Booooorrrring. There is nothing beneath the surface of this movie besides the need for a production company to turn a profit. It’s on cable for an overpriced $3.95. Rent a porno or wait till it’s on for free. BTW, it's senior citizen time for best actress in the wheel chair derby for the Oscar. Talk about dead pieces of ass.

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