While being virtually immobilized by a pinched nerve in my back and thus forced to watch every stupid daytime documentary available, I am ready to report to you that almost all of them are phony. The docs attempt to convince the audience that there is actually a lone adventurer meeting up with Killer Crocs from Uganda, the terrifying Rogue Lions in Africa, the exciting Man Swallowing Snakes from Sumatra, the never to be forgotten, Cunnilinguists of Morocco, and a ton of other fakes. In each case the “lone adventurer” is being photographed by a third party, which gives lie to the “lone” part, and there are so many intercuts of whatever animal or moving weed that is featured that anyone who thinks can only conclude that the docs are fake. Disney took it up the ass in the 60s for making the same kind of phony documentaries, but these, because they are originally PBS shows, simply keep up the fiction.

Then there is the literal plague of expose’ and revelation type documentaries which feature Christ, Hitler, single moms, Napoleon, various minor movie stars, and each and every sadistic crime ever committed. Like I could give a fuck who killed Caesar’s maid by mistake, who Jesus was probably fucking, and how the Germans should have won WWII.

The single exception to the endless series of frauds is the great Deadliest Catch series which catalogues the crab fishing seasons in the Bering Sea, complete with actual deaths, men overboard, huge waves, and exhausted crews. Watch it if you’re not already.

I’ve also watched every sports re-run, badly made sports documentary, and really boring sports commentary (Mike and Mike in the Morning are the shallowest of a shallow breed). And the early AM Fox and Friends without E.D. Hill is unwatchable. And you don't know what death by strangulation feels like until you've watched Nancy Grace, or the stupefying Wolf Blitzer.

The “News shows” on FOX are so out of style that it’s amazing they still have ratings. Some of the “shows” on CNN are actually good, many are conservative, and also entertaining (Glenn Beck). The actual news on CNN is pretty good, so long as you are aware of their clear bias in the reporting. And then there is the too terrible to imagine, the above mentioned Nancy Grace show on CNN, which violates each and every pretense of the concept of innocent until proven guilty. She is the mistress of the “pressure interview” of both victims and Grace identified suspects while her questions are so misleading that I don’t know why she hasn’t been sued off the air. CNN's propagation of her outrageous opinions reduces the credibility of the entire network. MSNBC is, well, MSNBC and it should be buried in a pauper's grave right next to the Republican Party.

Only the occasional creative music video allow a comatose viewer to stay sane. Oh, and the soft core porn on HBO etc., is so bad that there is no wonder that male homosexuality is on the rise. I mean who would want to be in the same room with the moaning women pretending to have orgasms?