Of Pot Stashes and House Cleaning

I lost my pot stash. When I say "lost" I really mean that I misplaced it somewhere. I became sort of desperate. I started to hunt for it on Sunday and by Monday AM I became totally committed to finding it. My first impulse was to call this "lady" I know (left below after being told to do housework) who had come over to my place but then I thought if I falsely accused her she wouldn't let me fuck her any more. But she was nice. And aside from grabbing her ex-husband's car and house, she didn't have a mean bone in her empty head. But besides, it just had to be in my place somewhere.

So I searched every nook and cranny that might contain my contraband, and nothing. I knew I was losing it as I searched inside the oven, knowing it couldn't be there. I then looked in places like under the toilet tank lid, was tempted to peek in the drains of the sinks, and even thought that just maybe I had put it in the car trunk. Then sanity sort of intervened and I began to empty shelves and CDs and shit. Months of dirt and dust revealed itself almost everywhere so I got a rag and some Windex and began to carelessly touch places up. Nothing. I then started a meticulous search that included stripping my couch cushions and then applying the vacuum to all the hidden places inside the couch. Again, nothing. So I began at my doorway and searched, vacuumed, moved furniture, lifted throw rugs. Nada. I started moving speakers and entertainment center, cleaning everything as I went..........AND THEN this suspicious looking packet appeared as if by magic between a speaker and my entertainment-secret stash center. There it was. I found myself grabbing it up like an addict finding the last ounce of cocaine on the planet.

So what do I have besides my contraband? The cleanest my place has been in almost a year. So clean I hardly recognized it. Even better I didn't feel remotely tired. I wasn't resentful at a wife or girl friend for intimidating me into doing housework. Instead, I was stimulated. Enthused. Satisfied. I could get stoned in a clean place.

Have a dirty house or room that needs cleaning? Hide your wife's horde and watch her go cleaning crazy. Hide your son's or daughter's secret stockpile and watch a room clean itself as if God waved a magic wand. Just be sure you have cleaning stuff handy so they don't have to strain too much.

Don't thank me.

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