I don't read "The Onion" all the time, but this bit about Socialites Without Borders got me over there.  One observation:

"These poor souls, there's so much we can do to help to them," said Tinsley Rothschild, an event planner for the non-profit organization, while surveying the country's bleak and arid landscape. "Just look around, there's nothing here: no hors d'oeuvres, no towering ice sculptures, nothing. Nobody should have to live like this."

"I bet most of these people have never even seen a Bellini, let alone know how to sip one," Rothschild continued.

So one thing linked to the other and the very funny financial comment below says volumes.  BTW the entire isssue is clever, something that's very hard to do.

Nation's Unemployment Outlook Improves Drastically After Fifth Beer