TODAY’S SERMON
I’ve been smoking shit for forty years. I go back to the days when a nickel bag meant one ounce for $5; back to when we could go out in the woods or up in the hills and pick it for free; back to the days when the cops didn’t even know what it was. Everybody who smokes shit smokes it to get loaded; to get stoned; to get fucking paralyzed. Nobody ever smoked it to relieve pain.

I was in awful pain for five years. Opiates relieve pain. So does aspirin, Vioxx, and a ton of other meds. Smoking shit never ever relieved pain in anybody. So let’s get real here. These whacked out hippies who claim pot is a pain reliever just want to get loaded without risk and at at public expense. The hypocrisy of pretending is the watermark of modern liberalism.

Let’s legalize marijuana. Let’s all admit we want to get loaded once in a while, that we’d rather be stoned on shit than flying on alcohol. Besides, sex is lots better with pot.

LATE ADD: I've been trying to post since 5:15 and it is now 9:10. Blogger is the absolute worst.