I used to know this young Republican who was trying to write a novel about balancing the budget. His anger at not being able to come up with something deep and meaningful drove him to drugs, homosexuality, and toward the end, crime. I remember talking to him between his homosexual period and his crime period about his writing the great Right Wing Novel.
“You know I’ve got this bi-sexual butch bitch that represents liberals; who are, you know, just fucking with all of us while they rob us. Telling us what a great in bed we are, blowing us, and then going home and doing the rug munch boogie with our wives. And then I’ve got this fuckin’ Marlon Brando macho character in a leather jacket riding a motorcycle and packing heat who represents modern conservatives. The cat rides day and night, taking what he wants, getting laid, beating people up who fuck with him and enjoying his freedom but never spending beyond his means. Well he meets this bi-bitch in a country-western joint in Fresno. She is dressed in tight jeans, has great tits and ass, and just has these huge blow job lips. Sexy as hell. She hits on my man who naturally hits back by rubbing a tit with the back of his hand. She wants him to buy her a drink but he won’t because he’s going through a “women are equal” phase and thinks she should buy her own drinks. Besides, he only has five dollars and spending more will bust his budget.”
He then just stared vacantly at me and told me he was stuck at that point. He knew the story had to end with bi-sexual bitch causing his conservative hero to borrow a ton of money in order to keep getting laid by the best piece of ass on the planet and then him finally standing up for himself and filling her full of hot lead before fleeing the scene on his motorcycle. It was just that he had no idea how to get there logically and besides he didn’t know what killing the bitch had to do with balancing the budget.
I only mention this now because his problem reminds me of our situation in Iraq. We know the ending but we have no idea on how to get there without killing everybody who is against us.
