Torture for Dummies: Jesus Christ, only a moron "debates" this. Torture has been around for at least 10,000 years. During that time zero battles have been lost as a result of somebody "squealing." BUT...roughly a million wild goose chases and critical delays have resulted. Torture works on low level people who know very little.

Sleep deprivation and starvation: All you know you will get are sleepy and hungry people who are totally pissed off.

Drugs: give me a break. If drugs worked everyone would use them. The truth is that once a subconscious is opened up everything comes out in cryptic form.

What works: Line up ten guys. Shoot one in the head in front of the others and then tell your target to talk or you will kill all his pals one by one til he does; killing his friends by torture works much better. Even more successful is to get a guy's wife and kids in the same room and start torturing them to death.

Period. End of discussion.

Now let's talk about what really works: bribery, sex, and, well more sex.

And the absolutely last now: let me supply you with the usual overwritten bullshit about torture and some of the history. The Ancient Persians had it best, not that it produced direct results, but it sure helped to control the populace. They (the fucking Persians, now the fucking Iranians) would tie the target up inside a canoe like boat, making sure he was several inches from the bottom. Once the target was affixed in the proscribed manner, they would feed him. And feed him. And feed him. Naturally nature took its course and the target, who knew what was coming, started evacuating the food through his anus (ass for you Harvard grads) and the "you know what" started to pile up. Next: what is always attracted to smelly feces? Hot looking babes? Fertilizer barons? Flies? You got it everyone, it was flies. And what do flies do besides eat shit? They lay eggs. And them eggs become maggots. And them maggots finally find their way into the bowels of the target which they proceed to eat from the inside. It is reported from reliable sources that the screams from the target lasted for up to thirty days. Did it get anyone to talk? Nothing besides things like, "please let me go; OK OK I'll suck your dick," and the always popular "Please God. Save me and I'll be good from now on, I swear."

I've got more history of torture including the molten silver down the throat, impaling while the wife and kiddies watch, the double wagon pull which dismembered the target in a few agonizing minutes, and the most popular of all tortures: skinning alive; a fun method where the target was skinned until there was no flesh on the body, but the target remained alive. There are unconfirmed reports that watching Desperate Housewives for two hours will accomplish the same thing.

Republicans used this photo secretly placed on President Clinton's hard drive to lure him into sexual craving.