ANYBODY GOT A LOOSE 32K? I GOTTA PAY TUITION

Ah, college, the place where parents with too much money send their kids to finally learn something. Well here, courtesy of Young Americans for Freedom (tip from WSJ) we have The Dirty Dozen: America’s Most Bizarre and Politically Correct College Courses. Not included are the class fees for each course and the PC professors ($180K per) who teach this stuff. From the YAF piece on this subject:

When one examines these classes, keep in mind that a recent study found that only one in four Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms protected by the First Amendment, but more than half can name at least two family members of “The Simpsons.” The Washington Post reports that only 31 percent of college grads could read and comprehend complex books, while The Chronicle of Higher Education reports that 40 percent of college students need remedial work in math and English. Are we really putting our educational resources to the best use?

So, without further ado heeeeere's the most PC of all the courses taught in America. When a big time college word is used, as a service to my readers, I reduce the big word to sixth grade level, the same one you are on....

1. Occidental College’s The Phallus (fancy word for the places where kings and knights hang out) covers a broad study on the relation “between the phallus and the penis, the meaning of the phallus, phallologocentrism, (thinking with your dick, something I specialize in) the lesbian phallus, (250cc vibrator) the Jewish phallus (AMEX card with no limit), the Latino phallus (a passport that looks almost real), and the relation of the phallus and fetishism (putting condoms on toes before masturbating).”

3. Queer Musicology at the University of California-Los Angeles explores how “sexual difference and complex gender identities in music and among musicians have incited productive consternation” during the 1990s (Who knew them fags could play the piano?). Music under consideration includes works by Schubert and Holly Near, Britten and Cole Porter, and Pussy Tourette (the stage name for an American drag queen, a composer and a singer who is best known for her single recordings: "French Bitch" and the unforgettable, Free Pussy..
   
4. Amherst College in Massachusetts offers Taking Marx Seriously: “Should Marx be given another chance?” (Should we allow old Groucho movies back on TV?) Students in this class are asked to question if Marxism still has “credibility,” while also inquiring if societies can gain new insights by “returning to [Marx’s] texts ( Night at the Opera, Animal Crackers, and Duck Soup). Coming to Marx’s rescue, this course also states that Lenin, Stalin, and Pol Pot misapplied the concepts of Marxism (had they applied the principals both of their money losing movies, The Big Store and Go West, would have made a fortune.).
   

4. Students enrolled in the University of Pennsylvania’s Adultery Novel read a series of 19^th and 20^th century works about “adultery” and watch “several adultery films (when all they have to do is follow their parents around for a week).” Students apply “various critical approaches in order to place adultery into its aesthetic (looking good while fucking is very important to the college crowd), social and cultural context (meaning fucking in an art gallery while there is a party going on), including: sociological descriptions of modernity, Marxist examinations of family as a social and economic institution (sex collectives)” and “feminist work on the construction of gender (why the stupid bitches can't get into the construction trades unions)”

5. Occidental College—making the list two times this year, and this makes it two years in a row---offers "Blackness,"which elaborates on a “new blackness,” “critical blackness,” “post-blackness,” and an “unforgivable blackness,” which all combine to create a “feminist New Black Man (needless to say, nobody anywhere dreams of being a New Black Man; other than a couple of guys who want to play middle linebacker on the hair dressers knitting team).”

6. Border Crossings, Borderlands: Transnational Feminist Perspectives on Immigration is University of Washington’s way of exploring the immigration debate. The class allegedly unearths what is “highlighted and concealed in contemporary public debates about U.S. immigration” policy (Write a paper advocating open borders and complete amnesty or you flunk).
   

7. Whiteness: The Other Side of Racism is Mount Holyoke College’s attempt to analyze race. The class seeks to spark thought on: “What is whiteness?” “How is it related to racism? (all white people are inferior to all other races and shouldn't ever talk about anything anywhere without begging for forgiveness first). “What are the legal frameworks of whiteness (how come all them lawyers are kikes)?” “How is whiteness enacted in everyday practice? (buying real estate with nothing down from Blacks and working)” And how does whiteness impact the “lives of whites and people of color (we let the physicists at MIT and NASA explain it).

8. Native American Feminisms at the University of Michigan looks at the development of “Native feminist thought” and its “relationship both to Native land-based struggles and non-Native feminist movements (we killed that fucking Custer and it's been all downhill since).”

9. Johns Hopkins University offers Mail Order Brides: Understanding the Philippines in Southeast Asian Context, which is a supposedly deep look into Filipino kinship and gender (a study of pedophiles at Harvard using their university Frequent Flyer Miles in order to travel to "you know where" to meet their long lost little eight and nine year old nephews.).

10. Cornell University’s Cyberfeminism investigates “the emergence of cyberfeminism (a fucking virus hitting all the lesbos on campus) in theory and art in the context of feminism/post feminism and the accelerated technological developments of the last thirty years of the twentieth century (penis shaped vibrators, soft plastic dildoes, and the revolutionary battery powered whip).”

11. Duke University’s American Dreams/American Realities course seeks to unearth “such myths as ‘rags to riches,’ ‘beacon to the world,’ and the ‘frontier,’ in defining the American character especially in women (why you girls really enjoy being gangbanged after a frat party).”

12. Swarthmore College’s Nonviolent Responses to Terrorism “deconstruct[s] terrorism” and “build[s] on promising nonviolent procedures to combat today’s terrorism.” The “non-violent” struggle Blacks pursued in the 1960s is outlined as a mode for tackling today’s terrorism (sixteen students will be sent to Pakistan to lead a freedom march for women's rights---without wearing burkas).
    

Dishonorable Mentions

• UC-Berkeley’s Sex Change City: Theorizing History in Genderqueer San Francisco explores “implications of U.S. imperialism and colonization for the construction of gender in 19th-century San Francisco’s multicultural, multiracial, and multiethnic” community (Whites used to kick the crap out of Niggers, Chinks, slopes, and fags, in order to build one of the world's great cities)..........balance is HERE