CATCH DIS FUCKIN' MOVIE
By almost every serious critical evaluation this is one shitty movie. However, this is the best shitty movie I've ever seen for reasons especially including the terrific actress pictured above and below. Engrossing, enthralling, and fucking entertaining as hell (if you're a degenerate like me). The movie to which I refer? Domino, starring nobody you've ever heard of (unless you call Keira Knightley "known") and featuring Mickey Rourke, sober at last and good as he's ever been. This story is "based," and boy is that word ever used loosely, based on the real life story of fashion model turned bounty hunter, Domino Harvey, one that should have been a TV series but because the true story is so violent and drug drenched it couldn't be done. This movie works mainly because of the super dooper acting turn of Keira Knightley, who is so fucking hot as a great psycho piece of ass with guns, knives, and all kinds of shit that I just sat back and wondered (chicks with guns and knives threatening me have always turned me on, a sort of "fuck me or I'll kill you" fantasy.). The thing that makes her so cool in this primal state is that her resume includes cartooney stuff like Pirates of the Caribbean; the snooty critical smash that nobody has ever seen, Pride & Prejudice; and the never to be forgotten, King Arthur (Jerry Buckheimer's only flop); which is another way of saying that this ditzy bitch couldn't pick a winner out of a Kentucky Derby line up containing just one horse. An Oscar nominee nobody knows exists, nominated for a movie only her mother knows was ever shot, Knightley also has a huge acting resume in British shit (and there is no shit like Brit shit). I'd only add that the non relevance of the Oscars shows up in her near anonymity. Anyway this great shitty movie is on Cinemax/ HBO for the low low price of $3.95 and is more than worth renting. 
As for the super hot Keira (all over this page), she apparently refuses to take her clothes off for the camera, be photographed having sex in a motel and showing it on YouTube, or flashing her naked butt in front of nightclubs, things which taken together spells No Talent Bitch in today's world. Can you hear the suits in the H'wood suites on casting her...."Not a single tape of her doing a double penetration in a motel? Fuck her. Get somebody who can act. See if Hilton or Lohan are available."
The photo on top left is from her 2007 calendar, the one top right is from a layout here, and I have no idea of the source for the one on the left. OK, I know, no fucking tits. But look at it this way: all the stuff that should have gone to her tits went to her talent. Had it not she'd have the biggest tits in the world.
2 comments:
So why do you say this is a shitty movie? I'm renting it today based on your "review" but pray tell us, "Why Shitty?"
OK, the movie is disjointed to the point that at many places you don't know what is what. So confusing in fact, that every once in a while the movie pauses so somebody explains stuff. Tony Scott, the director, shot it in washed tones so that the movie is visually confusing too. The fast intercutting left the impression that holes in the story were filled by needless cuts just to keep audiences from thinking or asking questions. Finally, in the scheme of things the story ain't worth telling, at least in a movie way. Having said all that, I loved it, for the3 overall story but mostly because of Keira Knightley who is fantastic, almost as good as Hillary Swank in Million Dollar Baby....but this ain't no MDB. But again, I really really liked it and I'd rent it twice.
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