Hollywood Financing, Vol MXXVII

An apology for putting out some inaccurate info. I’ve been blogging and commenting for about a year over the lack of real capitalism working in the movie business and that in a real honest to God company the shareholders would have kicked all management out the door after the third of the latest ten liberal 50mil agit-prop flops with big stars, directors, and writers. Silly me, and even worse, shallow me. I was deeply involved in the very first limited partnership structured by Merrill Lynch that financed a package of movies that had stars and so on (Silver Screen Partners I). I believe the limited partnership put up something like a hundred mil in exchange for the guarantee that big shots would make best efforts and so on. Well, the movie mogul scumbags, none of whom have a moral compass that points anywhere except toward their dicks and wallets, put movies into the partnership, many of which were already in the can, that they knew were shit. The general partners drank the Movie Producer Kool Aid and canvassed the known universe for capital which was used to finance a string of flops. Oh no! Not so fast Keemosabe, Merrill Lynch ain’t Joe Lunchbucket and they wouldn’t sit still for having their clients looted like that. The suits at Merrill and their gun slinger lawyers moved in on the studio and announced what they intended to do. Whatever it was they intended to do was put on the shelf when the studio pulled out the known dogs and replaced them with movies all thought had a good chance to earn a profit. In other words, Merrill forced the studios to remove the dogs and replace them with movies that just might make money.

I believe we started in 1988 and the partnership finally earned a profit in 2007 based on CD sales, foreign shit and so on. Note that these movies were financed outside of the studio system so no pissed off stockholders. The limited partnerships with capital are now very sharp and as a general rule won’t finance shit. The latest Silver Screen Partnership raised over 300mil for Disney, which turned out, among other hits, the financial blockbuster, "Pirates of etc....." HOWEVER, since about 2003 it looks like the people who became general partners in most deals absolutely agreed with the Left Wing studios, big stars, and can’t miss directors who intended to produce "hate America movies." No matter how "principled" Hollywood stars, writers, and directors say they are, they ain't about to work for less than their already outrageous fees. In other words they did what they have always done: made movies with other people's money. All the Hollywood shitheads took their usual big money up front from the Partnerships while posing for Holy Pictures. We all know that movies which lost almost all costs were in the partnerships and there were so many dogs that no replacement is possible. Stay tuned, because Hollywood financing from outside of the system may be dead.

Oh, I forgot. The producers are currently in the Middle East conning the mullahs out of their oil money. Get ready for “Abdul Meets Godzilla After the Americans Destroyed his Country.”

Can you just hear the latest "agent speak" as he hustles an Arab oil gazillionaire: “Sheekskeepoo, these are absolute masterpieces with all the big stars, big directors, and blondes you can fuck any time you want to.”

Good for two hundred mil anywhere in the world