The Obama Question: Manufactured Angst?

This is the "get Obama" moment for many Democrats and Republicans, a chance to "brand" him in false rage about what he meant when he spoke in Frisco to his kind of people. Now folks, there ain't no blue collar people in Frisco as you'd know if you checked the insane rents there. He was speaking to his true base, the limousine liberals and tax cheat Lefties, all of whom want to reap benefits off of your dime.

I've mostly thought of myself as a Conservative guy, meaning that I don't like government sticking their noses anywhere near me, unless I need some money or a good deal. I’ve always known there was a certain amount of hypocrisy about the “movement” and never got really riled up about it. Tell me again that business is "Conservative." Lecture me how they are fiscally responsible when we see the spectacle of billions in bailouts being given to banks, stock brokers, and other hustlers because their corrupt business practices have resulted in an economic meltdown that may rival the Great Depression in its affects before this current crises is over. If it is ever over.

Whenever I'm around "real" Conservatives" I find myself in almost complete disagreement with what they say. I realize that there are such things as Easter Catholics, Jack Mormons, and Christmas Christians; meaning there are tons of people who are "Just in Case" believers who think that if there really is a God they can show up for church on Christmas and fake him out when the time comes; if we play our cards right a Heaven full of virgins will be ours. It goes with the territory that there are Jews who show for temple on Yom Kippur for twenty minutes or so and then write checks to the Temple for big amounts so God will ignore the fact that they are economic predators, spousal cheats, and otherwise moral cripples. I know most of us are conveniently this or that or partly that or this. One hundred percent is something you get on a test you cheated on.

There ain’t no “real” conservatives any more than there are “real” liberals. Conservatives (and liberals) have been broken up into private clubs. It's no surprise that like any other private club everywhere many Conservative clubs have twenty or so litmus tests you have to pass in order to be an ordained a "true" Conservative. A True Believer. You "must" believe in God and show it,; prove that you are against government intervention except when....; always know that the military is almost never wrong, that private charities can solve all social problems, or that ending Welfare for bums and cripples is a must. Especially we must be against abortion (unless it is our daughter who gets knocked up). These conditions are mandatory for a Conservative. And those conditions are just a few of the twenty or so necessary Conservative mantras many of which I don’t support or am only mildly in sympathy with.

Which brings me to the latest in the Obama litany of philosophical inconsistencies, which were it not for YouTube would never have been known. I think the uproar is the most pretentious of the failings about all of us. Boo hoo, shock awe, and omagod. He is insensitive to the life styles of small town America.

Who the fuck isn’t? I’m from a town of 5,000 on a rainy Sunday when nobody could leave it and we would have just loved to have posed for a few sacred photos of us being noble. We didn’t give a fat fuck for anybody in any town other than our own. We hated the dagos and wops (they were NOT Italian Americans) who lived in a toilet twenty miles away, the assholes living five miles away (and the most bitter of our high school football rivals), the fucking Catholics in the mostly Catholic town that was forty miles over the hill, and positively despised everybody in the nearest big city that was 155 miles up the road. We were hunters, farmers, bums, drunks, doctors, lawyers, cops, shop owners, pot growers, and craftsmen. School was out for the first day of trout season and the first day of duck hunting season. Nobody was in a union; in fact we all hated those big city commies. Church attendance was fairly high but I never heard my friends claim they believed anything that was said inside of them, and in fact we thought most of it was bullshit. Many young people joined the military to “get away” from the stifling confines of small town life (and the lack of really hot looking big city pussy).

So Obama’s so called “insulting” depiction of us would have passed over our heads with only a few shrugs of resignation which would have indicated that we knew he was no more than “another one.” No votes would have been lost or gained because we’d have already determined that he was a phony among phonies and just one more fake to deal with along with every other elected piece of shit everywhere. The really important things in life concerned sex, the summer heat, the latest “scandal” in town (there was always a whispered hot scandal of one kind or another) and the condition of the sardine, which was our only actual industry. The one that employed fifty percent of the locals at dam good pay for two months out of the year.

We always knew that everyone thought of us as hicks, boobs, ignoramuses, and gun toting spoilers of the environment. The environment: meaning the trees, bird shit, howling fucking coyotes, stinking skunks that got into our houses, raccoons that are the meanest motherfuckers on the planet, the stars, the clouds and especially the “land,” something all the out of towners claimed to adore without taking the trouble to actually live and work on it. Whenever they showed up and asked directions we’d mostly give them the wrong ones.

Nobody actually called themselves conservative. We said the Pledge, sung the Anthem, learned a little history (which we knew was big city PC crap), paid sincere homage to the guys killed in wars, knew the country was in good shape excepting New York and San Francisco, went to the car races and movies, the concerts and local football games, and especially the high school plays, band displays, art festivals, and any other activity that our kids were involved in.

I find the Conservatives know jack shit about any of that stuff and don’t really care. They are mainly interested in making a buck scaring the shit out of us. Bottom line: the only people actually bothered about what Obama said are the speech writers who may be fired for writing it.