New Element

HEAVIEST ELEMENT DISCOVERED

Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known
to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neuron, 25
assistant neurons, 88 deputy neurons, and 198 assistant deputy
neurons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert;
however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would
normally take less than a second to take from four days to four
years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neurons and deputy neurons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium' s mass will actually increase over time,
since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neurons, forming
isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as
Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many
morons.

Thanx to emailer JF